Tool teaches you how to make cookies

The band Tool released a song in 1996 entitled Die Eier Von Satan (The Balls of Satan) in which the German lyrics are a recipe for hash cookies. Because the song is German and includes a man shouting to a cheering crowd, we immediately associate it with Hitler and the Nazis. Of course, Americans associate almost anything German with Hitler and the Nazis.

The phrase which is repeated within the song is "Und kine Eier,” meaning “and no eggs.” If you take it one step further, though, you can see the “eggs” as Jews, and Hitler’s recipe for society would include no Jews. But I think that might be taking it a little too far.

Either way, I think this song sounds cool, even if the lyrics are just a recipe. At least it’s better than the Fast Food Song.

Obsessing Over Foreign Lyrics

Americans absolutely obsess over songs in foreign languages. Maybe it’s because we don’t understand just how dumb the lyrics really are. A few years ago, this annoying song called the Fast Food Song by the Fast Food Rockers) hit dance floors and impregnated our brains with nonsense. In German, it did sound kind of cool, and even had a few words we could understand. In English, it sucks. Period.

You might remember the refrain: McDonald’s McDonald’s Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut! Repeated over and over to brain-numbing infinity. And there were these awesome dance moves to the song, too. Reminds me of the YMCA and Macarena, but (dare I say it?) even more pathetic.

I would like to say that the lyrics are making fun of Americans and our overweight nation of fast-food eaters, but that isn’t the case. The song is really only about being hungry and eating fast food, maybe with a sexual subtext.

Another depressing note, it seems that witty lyrics are far from a prerequisite for top hits, either. Check out this poll of songs with the worst lyrics to kill some more brain cells. Its okay, you don’t really need those cells anyway.