My monologue about dialogue

At a writing workshop held by the Kenosha Writer’s Guild, we discussed and practiced writing dialogue. I’ve always believed that “dialogue” only referred to the words the characters speak. In other words, anything in quotation marks.




However, to writers at least, dialogue includes so much more. For example, dialogue can include nonverbal communication, gestures, noises without words, movements, etc. etc.



At this workshop, I was hoping to learn how to incorporate descriptions of characters’ movements and appearance with their spoken words. Also, how to know when to use tags like “he said” and when to leave them out. But, like everything else, there isn’t really one tried and true formula for writing dialogue.



But to normal people, non-writers, what does “dialogue” mean?



Found in classical Greek and Indian literature, “dialogue” is the literary form used by Plato. As a narrative, philosophical and didactic device, it taught ideas through a sense of voice and communication. The more modern meaning of “dialogue” refers to a conversation between two or more people.






A “dialogue” can also be an exchange of ideas, such as political or religious views, intended to result in some type of agreement. Finally there is what is referred to as “musical dialogue” wherein two or more parts suggest a conversation.



And, of course, a “monologue” is a conversation you have with yourself, usually on stage as an actor in a play. Or typing on a word processing program…

Everyone is handicapped

I remember reading an essay in AP English (yes, I’m that geeky) about a woman who preferred to be called a “cripple” than “handicapped.” This is a very strange choice, given the negative connotations of “cripple,” but she argued that it more accurately reflected her situation. After all, everyone is “handicapped” in some way or another.

Recently, they installed a handicap parking space in my apartment’s lot. My husband is convinced the woman is not really handicapped. My mother, who had a stroke two years ago, needs a cane and moves very slowly as she walks. This neighbor of ours can carry three grocery bags and cruise to her front door in seconds, barely tapping her cane on the sidewalk. I still think she must have good days and bad days, but this was a clear example of a good day.

“Handicap” may refer to a disability or various methods of leveling a sport or game. It may also refer to the handicap principle, an evolutionary theory, or self-handicapping, by which a person blames failure on anything other than his own inability.
At HandicappedFraud.org, you can report the improper use of handicap placards and handicapped parking. At the University of Wisconsin - Parkside campus, this is a huge issue because students are too lazy , or don’t give themselves enough time to walk across the lot.
On this site, they do warn against misjudging people’s handicaps. I believe this may be the case with my neighbor.

“Remember that we can not know somebody's personal situation. Many handicapped people are hassled over their lack of a visual disability by well meaning citizens.”

A story I have never read but have heard a lot about, Harrison Bergeron, takes handicapping to the extreme. Everyone in the tale is made “equal” by handicapping each individual’s strengths. If you run fast, they will slow you down with lead weights. If you’re smart, a buzzing in your head will make it impossible to concentrate. I’m glad we’re not equal, aren’t you? I’ll take whatever handicaps Deity gave me.

This phone is now on pause

Today I was on hold for (count it!) an entire half-hour trying to set up an appointment with my doctor. Lately the support staff at his office have been missing in action, so it doesn’t really surprise me. At the twenty-five minute mark, I decided to use my cell phone to call the office (while I was still on hold on my home phone). That time it went straight to voicemail - probably because I was holding up the other line.
Left a nasty message and decided to blog about it. While I could have written this entire blog entry while I was on hold, I am not coordinated enough to hold the phone and type at the same time. I am also not tech savvy enough to figure out how to use the speakerphone.
Didn’t find too much about the origins of “on hold” but I did find some interesting stuff out on the Interwebs. For one, there is such a thing as “on hold advertising,” where instead of hearing the blah blah blah make-you-want-to-fall-asleep music, you get to listen to radio-type commercials instead. Fun times.
I also found a list of synonyms for “on hold,” some of them quite amusing. I can just imagine the alternate phrases the answering secretary might say when she puts someone on hold.

1. I need to defer our conversation for a moment.

2. This phone is now on pause.

3. Let’s just pigeonhole (shelve) this for now.

4. We will need to postpone your call until a later time.

5. Your calling time will be unavoidably protracted (prolonged).

6. Let’s take a short recess, before I answer any of your questions.

7. Please remain on the line.

8. I need to shelve this call.

9. Sit tight. I’ll be right back on the line.

10. I apologize but I must stymie (hinder) this conversation.

11. We will suspend this until later.

Now, I have heard that you can avoid telephone menus by pressing “0” as soon is it starts listing options. Usually this will get you to a real, live person. But is there a way to avoid being put on hold? If so, I haven’t found it yet.