Friday, December 28, 2012

The Next Martha Stewart

for Ashley Carleton

She fries five million shallots 

And buys a wedding ring.
She squeals on a train
While wearing the wrong shoes.
She loves spending time with
An afternoon Christmas,
Expensive presents, beautiful music.
She feels public market tacos,
Avoids the bomb,
And honors the victims.

When China knows the national mood,
Only one man is capable of sharing
Wine with her at the art museum.
The rarest large mammal in the world
Provides nice scenery for their voting.

She gets Old Milwaukee breakfast for free
With good karma.
Her winning Whole Foods spirulina
Welcomes back a fatty soulmate
With Krispy Kremes.
This health freak couldn't find groceries.

Oh god, looking at the remnants of cookies,
She decides to give second chances.

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