Unsure of the Words

Hitting the reset button
Jacking back to a past of fast
Relationships, shipping overseas tease
Tantric tantrums, intense release
Bubbly noise bursts from lips
Candlelit moans, moving fingertips

Now weight lays heavy upon my body
Unable to move, to think, to breathe
Spending all my money on alcohol
To put my brain to sleep
To forget these taut-slapping
Intense fantasy memories

A new, timid voice calls to me
And I answer, quiet
Unsure of the words I have heard
Then I dip below vibratto
Hang there like a plucked cello string
Fading slowly

I fear I will scare you with my intensity
I fear I will scare you with my melody
It often slips out of tune

Will you still listen then
When notes of sorrow creep back in?
When I cannot sing as sweet?
When the refrain remains but
The rhythm loses its beat?

I hope so. I hope so. I hope so.
I hope.