Sunday, March 20, 2011

Rockability old-school mix of emo, hipster bullshit

I've always been a “gee whiz” kid a few decades behind the common vernacular, but now that I've come to understand my place in this space, I kinda likes it. I might always be a few steps behind the line between being cool and feeling like a fish, clammy hands and all. I might always be a little bit rockabilly old-school mix of emo, hipster bullshit. I might always be asking for more time-outs in the chair so made for me that it molds to my butt cheeks.

For explanation purposes, allow me to divulge:

1.In middle-school science, when we learned about cleavage, I couldn't understand why everyone snickered. It just explained the way rocks broke evenly. It had nothing to do with the breasts resting underneath the evenly cut diamond, which displayed wonderful cleavage in the movie we watched.

2.Gullible really was written on the ceiling of the instrument locker room. I looked. But I still looked every single other time someone told me it was written on the ceiling both before and after I learned what the word “gullible” meant.

3.A friend of mine regularly referred to himself in the third person all throughout high school, so when I indulge myself you better be paying attention because the Holy Trifecta of Kaitlyn is a lot more difficult to deal with than just one of me.

4.A symptom still in effect: I have a habit of taking things extremely literally, like if you tell me you have a pet puppy that lives in your basement, never sees the light of day, and eats his own poo – I will demand to see that puppy, and even upon further investigation, will ask where you chose to hide said puppy when I threaten to call animal control or PETA on your sorry butt.

This may be a continuing series, if I so decide. That's another of my habits. Forcing my ideas upon people like some horrible contagious disease.

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